“Ahimsa is easy…”
So started a comment left on social media by an acquaintance that sparked an interesting opportunity for deeper exploration for me. I had been spending some time exploring Ahimsa ~ especially the subtle ways that we “do harm” (actually, that I “do harm”) and it was proving challenging in some unexpected ways. And then this comment arrived as yet another example for me to explore – and I’d like to share some of what I learned along the way.
The first opportunity for me to build a bit of awareness came with the fact that I took this comment to heart at all. It was left on a thread started by someone else (who I don’t even know) and I was not a part of the conversation. I had NOTHING to do with this conversation and, yet, I felt the need to personalize the exchange. Why? As I sat with this question, I realized that I was feeling vulnerable & exposed in this exploration and that led to me feeling judged & found lacking. I suspect that this is not an uncommon result of social media exposure ~ we see reflected in our “feed” exactly what we are looking for. Looking to feel empowered? Notice all the inspirational messages & hopeful posts. Looking to feel disempowered? You can find that too. Judged? Offended? Uplifted? Inspired? It is all there.
In this way, social media is a microcosm for the world at large. We interact with the world from the point of our own understanding and we experience the outside world through the filters of the stories we are holding in our hearts. It is one of subtle ways that we perpetuate harmful, self-limiting patterns in our lives ~ we feel unworthy and are, therefore, convinced that everyone else finds us lacking as well & we can certainly spot the examples a mile away. This unconscious gathering of evidence that supports our self-limiting perspective acts like a series of small pinpricks to our sense of self and wears us down over time. Of course, these patterns & the larger narratives that they support do not hold up in the light of careful, honest examination anchored in compassion & self-love (but that doesn’t stop them from trying).
Additional opportunities to practice both Ahimsa & Satya arrived in the form of my response. As I observed the list of potential “responses” parade through my mind, I noticed: first, the inclination to defend myself by judging the other person as I felt judged (which we’ve already established was a story of my own creation); second, the inclination to justify those judgments by further judging the other person & their clearly unkind intentions (still a reflection of the story I’d told myself); and third, the resulting judging of myself for judging the other person (quite a rabbit hole, indeed). When the parade had ended, I was left with an opportunity to practice kindness & patience with myself as I examined the unmet needs that this random interaction exposed. What was it within me that was drawn into this comment? And why did it have so much electricity behind it for me?
These questions can only be answered when we practice being both compassionate & honest with ourselves. If our habit is hardness & self-judging, we are far more likely to take the “easy way out” and find fault in anyone or anything but ourselves. This may feel like it serves us in the short term, but what have we really learned about ourselves in the process? Assigning blame – to others or ourselves – only serves to more firmly entrench these narratives that keep us feeling small, petty & unloved. It is practice that allows us to notice what is happening and to give ourselves the space to observe the inner parade with a bit more awareness & non-attachment than might have happened in the past. It is practice that teaches us to pause so that we can respond to life instead of reacting to it
One of the gifts of social media (and electronic media in general) is the distance it affords us, if we are willing to take it. We can choose to walk away from any social media post, email or text message and give ourselves time to understand what is surfacing for us before we respond. Practicing being a peaceful & honest presence in the virtual world supports us in being a peaceful & honest presence in the real world. Noticing the stories we tell ourselves about our interactions online helps us build greater awareness of their influence on our interactions in person. And once we are aware of these stories, we are free to question their validity & usefulness in our lives and to begin the healing path that releasing them reveals.
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